 "Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of community." -- bell hooks in All About Love
Hi Barb,
Over the past few weeks, I have been exploring grief. Perhaps you have too. (If so, see the footnote) One of my dear friends is in hospice. Others have lost family members or pets. Still others are mourning things that once seemed certain but are now under attack.
As I attending to these loved ones, I have also been thinking about what "engagement" means, wondering... Is it being involved, actively? Or is it simple awareness? Is it talking? Or listening?
And how are grief and engagement related? At first glance, they seem to be at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum—one rooted in loss, the other in connection.
Yet, they share some things in common, like presence. Whether tending to grief or fostering strong work connections, presence is needed to focus on what is here, now. Or consider empathy. Empathy lies at the heart of both. Empathy supports those who are grieving, and it allows leaders to understand the varying perspectives and emotions of their colleagues. Empathy fuels inclusive decisions and better outcomes.
How about you? What do you think grief and engagement have in common? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Warmly,
 Barb Bickford PS. If you are grieving, I invite you into conversation with someone who embodies presence and empathy. Join Caring for Ourselves and Others, It's THIS AFTERNOON, Thursday, February 13th. Details are below.
Caring for Self and Others: (Another) Conversation with Kathleen Paris -- Online, Thursday, February 13, 2025, 3 PM ET / 2 PM CT / 12 noon PT
Many of us are feeling grief these days. If you missed our conversation with Kathleen a couple weeks ago, you are in luck. Kathleen has more to share with us about caring for ourselves during times of grief and transition.
Kathleen is a wise and gentle soul who understands. She's a certified grief counselor and the author of Gentle Comforts: For Women Grieving the Loss of a Beloved Life Companion, which has become my go-to book for sending to someone who has lost a spouse or family member. Learn more about Kathleen and her book
We'll meet THIS AFTERNOON, Thursday, February 13th. Sign up here. We'd love to have you join us! Feel free to share the link with others who are grieving.
Transitions and New Beginnings retreat -- in person near Wausau, Wisconsin, April 4-6, 2025
If your life is in transition, you may feel disoriented and lonely. But you don't have to go it alone! A healing community awaits you, In it, there are wise people who may have already navigated one similar to yours.
During a restful weekend away, we will explore how your transition began, how it's showing up in your life, and what might be coming next. We use journalling, conversations, art (no talent needed), and gentle movement. Read more about Transitions retreats.
Special bonus! Kathleen Paris will join us for a fireside chat on Saturday evening, April 5th.
Register for the April 4-6, 2025 retreat in central Wisconsin. (Don't live in Minnesota or Wisconsin? Fly into MSN (Madison, WI) or MSP (Minneapolis-St. Paul) and we'll arrange car-pools from there.)
Connect 250: Coworking for Entrepreneurs -- online, Tuesdays and Thursdays, 9 AM PT / 11 AM CT / 12 noon ET for one hour
Tired of working alone? Join an online coworking community! We gather twice a week for two rounds of focused work (25 mins) and camraderie (5 mins), hosted by Derek Kaye. Let’s knock out those big tasks together! Join here: http://c250.co/cowork30
Related blog posts -- Loss in the woods -- Embracing life transitions -- How can leaders get just a little more rest?
Our upcoming events, workshops and courses
Practice presence and empathy a few minutes at a time
Tip 1: To invite greater engagement (speaking, listening and attention) in any meeting, find a way for each person to speak in the first 5 minutes. The easiest way to do this is to put them in pairs to talk about something related to the topic of the meeting.
Tip 2: This tip can be expanded to build presence, empathy and simple listening in your group or team, by practicing them a few minutes at a time. Let's say you set aside 15 minutes once a month. That's enough ask people to engage more deeply and to be present and listen to one another, using the activity known as "Abundant Greetings."
Here's how it goes:
1. Display or pass out a set of four questions. Here is an example of a set of four questions (or make up your own):
- Assign last month a fragrance (and why) - What feels exceptionally comforting, warm, and easy right now? - On whose shoulders do you stand? - Why was it important for you to be here today?
2. Ask people to think silently for 2-4 minutes, about how they would answer the questions. Let them know they will be invited to share their thoughts with another person, and that it will be entirely their choice how much or how little to share.
3. Pair up. Start with whoever woke up earliest this morning. That person (the "speaker") has 4 uninterrupted minutes to share their answers to any or all of the questions. If there is still time after the speaker finishes sharing, both people should sit in silence until the 4 minutes is up; the speaker may think of more to say. The listeners just listen and don't say anything the whole time, although they may nod their head or otherwise signal they are listening.
4. Switch roles and the second person has 4 uninterrupted minutes to share their answers while the first person listens.
Try this. Then notice what happens to how people engage during the rest of the meeting.
Want even more tips? Access Ten Tips to Foster Online Engagement.
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Photo Credit: Prostock-Studio from Getty Images, accessed through Canva Pro
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