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The acronym "FORM" can help you remember networking questions
Hi Barb,
When I was young, I struggled to learn social skills. Making small talk was excruciating! So I avoided networking and parties.
Later, as a professional in government, networking seemed unnecessary. People came to me either because I was the expert or the regulatory gatekeeper.
But when I moved from Wisconsin to Minnesota and started my business, I had only a handful of contacts. It was like crossing the Mississippi River in a boat without a motor and with only one paddler: me.
Slowly, I built a network, the hard way. That is, by making a lot of mistakes. For example -- early on, I sent emails out of the blue to people I barely knew, inviting them to a high end 5-day facilitation workshop. Not only did no one respond, many people tagged my message as spam.
Lesson learned: Selling is not networking!
And networking is not selling yourself or giving out business cards. Or keeping score (e.g., "I'll help you if you help me")
It's about caring about the other person's success and connecting them with people who can help THEM. It's about nurturing relationships in a group of people who know, like, and trust each other and want to see each other succeed.
Over time and with guided practice, I'm finding that networking can actually be fun!
If you struggle with small talk or networking, check out the Pro-tip below.
Warmly,
Barb Bickford
Practice networking online at Connect250
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Get tips for networking, practice networking and expand your network at the same time! These sessions are led by Connect 2050's founder, Derek Kaye, who used to struggle with extreme social anxiety, but was able to overcome it by learning how to network like a pro. The next session is September 4th.
Learn more and sign up: https://www.connect250.com/
Or just hop in at the appointed time with this link: http://c250.co/monthlynetworking
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Want more ways to spark lively, inclusive meetings? Join us as Keith McCandless, co-author of the brand-new Liberating Structures (LS) book, guest-facilitates the next gathering of the Washington DC Community of Practice. You’ll sample new liberating structures (including tips for leading them online), connect with fellow facilitators and meeting leaders, and leave with fresh ideas.
All are welcome, whether you are a seasoned LS facilitator or have never heard of LS until now! Register here.
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Learn more about Transitions events.
Related blog posts
-- How to create more engaging conferences with liberating structures and networking
-- All things being equal - a blog post by networking expert Bob Burg
Our upcoming events, workshops and courses
FORM can make it FUN
When you’re at a networking event or even in those few awkward minutes before a meeting starts, you can show leadership by asking the first question. But what can you ask?
Derek Kaye of Connect250 recommends using the acronym FORM to remember four categories of questions you can ask about Family, Occupation, Recreation, Motivation (or Message). Here are some examples:
Family -- Do you have family in the area? (if you know they have children) where are your children now?
Occupation -- What do you do? Who do you help? What got you into this line of work?
Recreation -- What do you do to relax in the summer? Do you have any hobbies?
Motivation (or Message) -- What got you into this line of work? What keeps you going? What do you wish people understood about what you do?
By asking a FORM question, you can start conversations that flow naturally It takes the pressure off thinking of “the right thing to say” and trying to impress a person. Instead, you can focus on getting to know them.
Your genuine curiosity is what matters. You can follow up with questions like ""What kind of ___?" or "Is there anything else about ___?"
Next time you meet someone new, try asking 2 or 3 of the FORM questions, and listen with real curiosity. You’ll be surprised how quickly relationships grow and how easy and fun small talk can be.
Learn more about FORM and practice networking in a safe environment by joining the Connect 250 networking sessions (see Courses and Resources, above). Tell Derek I sent you.
Want even more tips? Access Ten Tips to Foster Online Engagement.
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Photo Credit: Matthew Pfeffer
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