Originally sent on May 4, 2023

Photo credit: Georgijevic, Getty images licenced under Canva Pro

Hi Barb,

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was my first professional meeting as a newly-employed hydrogeologist in a state agency. 

After the city engineer and his assistant sat down in the tiny conference room, I launched into my analysis of the groundwater data from around their landfill.  Then I looked up proudly and asked, “What do you think?”

They just stared at me for a moment, looking confused. 

Then they turned to my coworker, who knew nothing about geology, and discussed with him what they already intended to do – add a couple groundwater monitoring wells and survey how thick the landfill cap was.

They barely looked at me for the rest of the meeting. After shaking hands warmly with my coworker -- and not with me -- they left.

I felt a lot of feelings, and joy was not among them. I felt angry about my contribution being ignored and also felt hurt. It took a few years to quit blaming them for my having concluded that they “treated me disrespectfully because I was a woman.”

Looking back now, I believe that my lack of skill in conducting meetings had more to do with their response than my gender.

And now, I would do things differently.  

I wish I’d known how to lead better meetings earlier in my career.  It would have given me confidence and would have better served the guests at our meetings.

I had to learn the hard way. Now I support people by showing (by example) what is possible, and by teaching others how to change their meetings – for good. 

Next week, I'm showing-by-example something you can use to make planning meetings more collaborative. Learn more and register here. I hope you can join us!

Warmly,

Barb Bickford

If an event has already occurred, the links in this email may not work. Questions? Contact Barb.

Grow and Let Go

Want to plan something collaboratively? Join me on Tuesday May 9 at noon Central time for a hands-on workshop a simple yet powerful activity you can use to plan almost anything. In less than 90 minutes, you and your group will be clear about where you’re at and what your next steps should be.  Learn more and register here

How diverse is your network?

We facilitators need to be alert to our own biases and hold space for differing viewpoints. Interacting regularly with people who think differently than we do helps us keep an open mind.

Curious about how diverse your personal network really is?  Take this quiz.

Thinking of creating an online course? How AI can help (or hurt)...

Sharing our expertise with others by teaching an online course could make a real difference in their lives. And using Artificial Intelligence (AI) could help us create a course more quickly. But what’s the downside?

Danny Iny, an expert in online education, has written a short report about using AI to create successful online courses. What I liked about this report is that it clearly explains the potential and limitations of AI. Access this short report today.

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Be curious to build trust

As leaders, it is important to listen to different opinions because it helps us make better decisions. When we only listen to people who agree with us, we miss out on important information or perspectives.

In addition, listening to different opinions shows others that we value others’ input and respect their thoughts, which builds trust.

One way to invite people to express their thoughts is to ask directly for disagreement.  You might ask:

-- What am I missing? 
-- Who has something different? 
-- What could undermine [outcome or goal]? 
-- Tell me more about....

If no one speaks up, try indirect questions such as:

-- Who might care about this and disagree with me/us? 
-- How might [name] see it differently? 
-- What concerns might other stakeholders have? 
-- How would this impact [name of group]?

Note: the key to these questions is not the phrasing, it's asking with sincere curiosity. People know when we ask questions like this insincerely!  

On the other hand, if we do ask for different opinions, listen with our full attention, clarify what we hear before responding, and occasionally change our minds in public, we can make it easier for the people we serve to risk expressing dissent.

Want more tips? Access Ten Tips to Foster Online Engagement.

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